Since I was 7, all I have heard from people is:
“You’re so stupid”
“Hey, are you anorexic?”
“You’re fucking ugly, bitch”.
“I bet everyone would be happy if you died”
“Why do you even still exist? Your friends hate you.”
“No boy is ever gonna like you, you know that right?”
“Yeah, I solved all of my problems right after I dumped your ass”
“Your skin is fucking gross, change that shit”
I have heard most of these phrases my entire life. These phrases were said by complete strangers, friends, and even boyfriends. It’s not fun to be a paranoid person. It is not fun to feel like you’re being used every second. It doesn’t feel good when people tell you that people talk shit about you. It doesn’t feel good when someone tries to ruin your life just because you hit a snag. I have cut out a lot of people from my life in the past years, whether due to circumstances or just due to the fact that these people feel the need to pick on me every chance they get. Two years ago, my life was turned upside down, and for some reason, I could never get out of it. From then on, I had boys who would use me when their on-again and off-again girlfriends were giving them shit, I had friends betray me, and I have had people accuse me of things I can’t even control. I am sorry I am such a fuck-up in your eyes, but all I am asking is this: treat people with fucking respect. I am not asking to be friends with everyone and kumbayah and all that, but you never know what someone’s going through. Ever. You never do, until you ask them. Today, I was told that I can come back to a certain friend group if I “truly” work on my problems. See, yeah, that’s not a friend group for me. Friends help each other, not ice each other out and basically treat them like an object. You felt used? Guess what, so do I. Now we’re even. Anyway, enough of that. I basically always think people are mad at me. I always think a lot of people do not like me when I first meet them, because that was all I would hear about in high school. I even had friends that came and go as they pleased and used me whenever they felt like it. I am not friends with those people now. They tried to weasel their way back in, but that didn’t happen. I also made a huge decision to drop out of my theatre program this year, simply because I now need the time to focus on myself with school and with life after graduation. I have some great friends now, friends that are awesome. But the friend group I just let go, I now feel that a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. You’re happy you lost me? Good, I am happy I left too. This is how I feel, and I am sticking to it. From now on, no more sadness or tears. No more crying about how I lost another friend. I am done with that. Come to me with drama, and I’ll walk away. Positivity starts here, and it starts now.
Vin Est Mon Ami 